This is Why We Can’t Have Pinterest Things.

I desperately try to be that mom.

You know the one…
The one with perfectly organized toy bins and the walls of their homes decorated with perfected kids crafts and beautiful seasonally appropriate decor. She’s the mom you go into her home and feel inspired to go on Pinterest (or to turn her picture frames just a little askew to make yourself feel better…)
You pull out your iPad with the sticky finger prints covering it, pull up Pinterest and get smacked in the face with these FANTASTIC ideas that are guaranteed to make you a million times more awesome.
So you Pinterest it up.
And then…sobbing.
Always the sobbing.
I don’t think I’ve ever used an idea from Pinterest that didn’t end in at least 2 of the 4 of us crying and threatening to join a new family.

I mean the crafts we attempt are way out of our league.
It seems so simple when you look at it, just a little footprint and a few hand prints.

Then you remember, oh yeah, children are little Houdini’s, as they weasel out of your death grip trying to keep the paint off the walls. And my children don’t know how to follow directions. “SPREAD YOUR FINGERS!” apparently means slab your hand down on the canvas and smear it. Yes, perfect. Thank you.

Let me tell you, the only things I gave thanks for during this craft was when Little S said “Mom, his nose is just not right. It’s just not right.” Well, first of all son, that’s his mouth and not his nose anyway. And secondly, you’re the one whose hand prints look like a 3 year old did them…so….who has the last laugh now? Huh?
It’s fall, so I’m trying to do all the fall things you’re SUPPOSED to do.
Leaf printing. It’s a classic. 
Alright, let’s psych this project up:
Let’s go get some leaves and then we can color over them! What kind of leaves should we get?!
Little S: Mom… I just wanted a blue leaf. Not a brown one. Can we go watch TV?
Pinterest, let’s get something straight, leaf rubbing isn’t a science. You get a leaf, you get some paper and a crayon. You take your paper, cover your leaf with the paper then color it. That’s it.
But this is how Little S did his.
Actually, that’s giving him too much credit. I did the leaf rubbing and he did the scribble then asked for Pirates Booty and fruit snacks.
But Pinterest just wont let you fail at just crafts.
No, no. You have to fail at everything.
Aw what a cute picture of my children watching TV together being blurred by Rae’s hand that’s about to smack Little S upside the head for some smarties. Oh, memories.
Got it, bins. Buy all the bins. Put stuff in them. Whatever.

Good. I did one four months ago.
This is my pantry now…
So yeah, I kind of suck at Pinterest kids crafts, but don’t let that fool you. I suck at grown up crafts too.
Let’s not wait this out. I’m going to go ahead and declare that this is not how this was supposed to look.
And lastly, the reason I shook my fist in fury at my Pinterest board this morning:
Nothing like the sound of hundreds of popcorn kernels falling on your floor and then the one year old trekking them all down the basement stairs to make you declare, “This is why we can’t have Pinterest things.”
You win, Pinterest.
Comments are closed.