My eye starts to twitch to accompany the irked feeling that I get every time I see another Huffington post or Buzzfeed article about:
“20 Things EVERY Woman in Her Twenties Should Do”,
“Don’t Get Married Before Reading These 5 Tips!”,
“30 ‘Scientific’ Reasons Your 20’s Are All About Doing What You Want”,
“Are You REALLY Ready to Be a Mom?”,
“20 Reasons Girls in Their Twenties Should be Single”.
(For some reason a lot of these lists are in increments of 20.)
Apparently, I ruined my twenties. I was just a few months in to turning 20 when I had Little S, was married to Big S, and had accomplished literally nothing.
No real social life.
These lists, which I read to see how “the other side lives”, are full of advice and ‘must-dos!’ for every woman in her twenties and thirties. They include advice like:
“Learn how to down 5 tequila shots in a row!”,
“Binge watch ‘Girls’ and ‘Sex and the City’ because you can”,
“Sometimes it takes a fling with someone you don’t like to figure out what you do like”,
“You need to have a nutty story to tell your grandkids”,
“When you get into bed, lie right in the middle, starfish style, because one day you’ll only have one side”,
and my favorite,
“Your 20’s are for making the most irresponsible decisions of your life”.
This is the advice people are giving people who should be adults?
Laying in your bed like a starfish HAS to be done before you get married or else you’re doomed?
Well, guess what?
Yeah, this happened.
And I’m married.
And I’ve never traveled.
And I have children.
And I’ve never seen “Girls”.
And I much prefer a glass of wine to tequila shots.
And I’m living my life exactly how I’m supposed to.
Not to brag, but I got a foot massage after I finished lying in my bed like a starfish, so I’d say married life as a twenty something is pretty awesome.
All these lists and expectations and things that we think are “normal” for twenty somethings (or anyone for that matter) is absolutely ridiculous. Your actions don’t need to be validated by a list that someone made while drunkenly sitting at their keyboard making claims of all the things they do that make them happy.
You really want a list of how to succeed?
DO WHAT MAKES YOU A HAPPY, THRIVING ADULT, WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.
STOP READING LISTS.
DON’T LET SOMEONE MAKE YOUR LIFE’S GAME PLAN JUST BECAUSE THEY WROTE IT IN A BLOG POST (Except mine, I’m legit.).
Seriously, stop it with the lists already.
If you expect to be validated for every life decision with a list of why it’s the best choice, you are NEVER going to do anything! I can find hundreds of posts about why you should wait to have kids, get married and settle down. I can find thousands of people who say that waiting until your 30s is the best time to have kids. I can find article after article that claims that your 20s are for “making irresponsible decisions”.
And those lists may be 100% true for those people, but you are not them.
I’ve found, the best things in life are the ones that aren’t in our plans and our perceived perfection.
They are the things unexpected and things that don’t make sense.
It’s the messes and the mistakes.
It’s the things that make us change and reflect on how far we’ve come that makes us thrive.
Those are things you can’t find in a blog post.
Except mine. I’m an expert.