Things finally felt normal for about a split second.
With all of Rae’s weight drama dwindling down-there’s no signs of any heart issues and the GI specialist doubts anything more serious than an allergy-my head finally feels clear.
I’m not going to lie, I went in to the doctor with the worst case scenario playing out in my head. I was prepared for a terrible diagnosis and ready to be told my sweet little thing was going to need surgery or something drastic.
Because I’m dramatic.
So the moment the GI walked in the door I started my ramblings:
“She’s just so little and she doesn’t poop and she doesn’t eat real food and she only wants to nurse 24 hours a day and I’m so tired and she’s not gaining weight and she actually lost 4 ounces in a week and it doesn’t make sense and my husband has had lots of health issues and I’m worried about her and I think there’s something wrong and they keep poking and prodding at my baby and I need you to fix it right now. FIX IT.”
He then calmly asked if I had cut anything out my diet.
And he was like, “So look, I read your blog and I know you’re a little bit obsessed with baked goods and chocolate. So we’re going to go ahead and take all that away from you.” (I may or may not have just made that up).
So the GI gives me 2 options- either cut out all dairy and soy from both of our diets, or switch her to some fancy (read: expensive) formula.
So this is where it gets weird.
I’m leaving the office SO INCREDIBLY relieved that he doesn’t suspect any blockage or anything really serious going on (for now, if these allergy tests don’t prove anything we’re looking at possibly doing more invasive testing later on). I’m also relieved her didn’t force me to just give her formula. Breastfeeding is one of the only things where I’m 100% confident is the best for my baby. I don’t want to lose that, so I decided to try the elimination diet. But then I get in the car and start reading the list of foods I can’t eat.
Things like: milk, yogurt, cheese, butter, soy (in all forms-including soy albumin, which I have no idea what that even is) and cream. Okay, all pretty standard and nothing to cry about. But the list goes on and starts mentioning things like: baked good, lunch meat, caramel, vegetable oil, peanut butter, Asian cuisine, CHOCOLATE and nondairy products (really?).
And I’m like, wait a minute…that’s like, 76% of my food intake…
So last night me and pizza had one last moment together.
And ice cream, too.
I think ice cream took it pretty hard.
So I’m talking to my mom about everything and she asks “So let’s think, what CAN you eat? Oh! You can eat barbecue sauce and jello! And you can eat vegetables and fruit!”
And that’s pretty much it.
So if you see me out at a restaurant eating my bowl full of barbecue sauce, don’t judge.
BUT you know what’s not on that list though?
Because all wine is is moldy grapes.
And I can drink all the moldy grapes I want.