I love Pinterest.
Mainly because it’s filled with lots of brownie recipes. But also because it actually has some pretty solid advice out there.
I’ve probably read about 10 thousand blogs about marriage. 50 ways to impress your spouse. How to make a marriage that lasts. 10 ways to love your husband. How to stay married forever. 7 ways to knock the socks off your husband. 65 things to do once your married. 7 ways to be your husbands best friend.
And I read every single one of them.
Big S and I have only been married for 2 and a half years. But in that time, I’ve seen 3 couples get married…and then divorced, in a time frame of 2 years. It’s really devastating to see my friends and people I knew in high school make such a huge commitment and take it so incredibly lightly. I know marriages fail, and I know serious things can happen to ruin a relationship, but seeing people I know go through something as terrible as a divorce at my age is absolutely awful for everyone involved.
2) Get together with other married couples. It isn’t easy being 22 and married. Big S and I are in a VERY small percentage of the young 20’s who are married or in a committed relationship. And we have kids, which makes the percentage even smaller. But I’m really glad we decided to step out of our comfort zone and meet other couples. Even though they aren’t the same age as us, they are in the same stage of life as us, and the age difference almost becomes obsolete. I say almost because I still can’t hang out with them without being referred to as a baby. But that goes both ways, because I can totally refer to them as old hags, right? Right? No? Oh well.
4) Take the 5 love languages quiz. THIS. My love language is acts of service. If Big S can do laundry/dishes/change the kids without being asked I AM IN HEAVEN. Big S’s love languages are words of affirmation and (big surprise) physical touch. So we make out and I tell him how awesome he is. It works out pretty well.
5) Choose happiness. Could I get mad every time Big S leaves his clothes on the floor? Or leaves his half full (I’m an optimist.) cups of coffee on the counter every morning? Or puts his wet towels on the end of our bed so our bed is MOIST? SURE I COULD. But I try to let these things go, because in the long run, these things don’t matter. Before I get mad I think “Will this seriously matter to me in a day/week/month?” And the answer is almost always no. So I let it go and choose to think of all the awesome things Big S does for me instead.
Like I said, I’m not a marriage expert. I haven’t studied marriages and what makes them work, all I know is that when we got married we made a vow of a lifetime. Life is hard, things get complicated and marriage is hard sometimes. But knowing that both Big S and I are committed and in it forever and learning from our mistakes and how to make things work without uttering the word divorce is working for us.
I never understood when my dad would tell me love is a choice until I got married myself. And I choose to love my husband every single day. He is absolutely the best thing that has ever happened to me.