It’s Not All Bad.

Yesterday I almost hit my breaking point with Little S.  After almost a half hour of straight “AHHHH MOMMMMMMM EATING BAKED BEANS IS WORSE THAN PUPPY MILLS.  IM GOING TO LITERALLY SCREAM UNTIL I THROW UP IF YOU MAKE ME EAT THAT!” screaming at me, I left my parents house feeling super defeated.
On the drive home I thought “I need to go for a 5 mile run.  Thats a healthy way of dealing with this stress.”
Instead I put the kids to bed, drank 2 glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon and watched Arrested Development and made my husband rub my feet, which is not quite as healthy.  But way more enjoyable than running until my legs feel like goop.

Then I was woken up this morning to the sound of Little S kicking on the walls (per usual) around 6:15  AM.
I was, undoubtedly, irritated.
So I got up and went to his room and was greeted with this:

And the high pitched squeal of “HI MOMMY! HI MOMMY! HIIIIII!”
Aw, c’mon!  I can’t even get mad at that!
So I drag him to my bed and he starts saying “AW, my Rae-yen.  Rae-yen, mommy! Rae-yen!” and starts giving her kisses and then THIS:
Anything strange you notice about this?  Other than the fact that I am an absolute VISION in the mornings.  No?  He’s snuggling with me.  If you’ve met Little S, you know he’s a terror energetic and doesn’t believe in snuggling unless it involves smothering his little sister laying with Rae.
We spent the morning reading books and snuggling on the couch singing and watching Henry Hugglemonster and playing with Rae.

I think this morning was finally a little glimmer of hope.  That maybe my life isn’t complete chaos 24/7. Just 23/6 or something.  That Little S isn’t doomed to be THAT KID in the mall/Target/playground/church/preschool forever.
Believe it or not, he actually is a pretty happy kid despite my theatrics about his tantrums.

Thank goodness for these tiny little moments.  I need them to remind me it’s not all sleep deprivation and energy draining nursing sessions and hardly being able to pee without company around here.  Despite what I’ve been thinking the past few weeks, I’m actually doing an okay job with them.  And that smile on their faces is proof enough.

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