2 years ago I married my best friend.
It was the typical boy meets girl story. Boy proposes to girl with McDonalds receipt. Boy moves to Denver. Boy moves back home. Girl gets pregnant. Boy proposes for real. And boy and girl get married.
(Oh, is that not the typical love story?)
But still, it would be ridiculous to assume that we got married out of obligation. If you know Big S and I even a little bit, you know it goes much deeper than the connection of our children. Yes, our children are our world. But when I said “I do.” I was saying I do to all the things that make our marriage and our bond one that can’t be broken.
I do is a promise.
I do laugh at you when you’re not funny. Or make incredibly inappropriate sex jokes in public. I laugh at you when you are funny too. I laugh even when I’m mad that you made fun of me for making banana bread without pants on (which happens more often than you would think).
I do appreciate the little things. Like when you unload the dishwasher. Or watch The Biggest Loser with me without judging the amount of ice cream I’m consuming. I appreciate that you wake me up with a kiss every morning before you leave for work and always kiss me before we go to bed. I appreciate the almost daily back rubs and foot massages. And I especially appreciate the mornings you let me sleep in while you take care of Little S.
I do try to put you first every day. I don’t always have dinner on the table for you when you get home. I don’t always have all the dishes done and the counters clean. I don’t always manage my time wisely and finish everything on my to-do list. But I do try to make sure that you know every single day that I’m proud of you and I support you 100%. I’m your biggest fan and you’re always my number one priority.
I do sometimes, rarely, on the very occasional day admit when I am wrong. So maybe I shouldn’t have hidden your xbox game at the bottom of the laundry basket to ensure that you actually got it done before playing your game (Or maybe I should keep doing that since it works….). Or maybe I should apologize for crying like an idiot at everything that has anything that has to do with newborns and blaming my awful pregnancy hormones on you. Maybe I shouldn’t yell “YOU DID THIS TO ME!” every time my back feels like it’s literally breaking in half.
I do finally understand that love is a choice. If it wasn’t, 100% of marriages would fail. There’s never a couple that feels head over heels in love with someone else every second of every day. I mean, I LOVE Big S. He’s my rock and my knight in shining armor. But let’s be honest. I’ve been pregnant about half the time that we’ve been married. That’s A LOT of hormones in a short period of time. But both Big S and I make a conscious effort every single day to tell each other that we love each other and that we are there for each other.
I do put faith in our relationship. I pray for our marriage and the marriages of others. Because forever is a really, really long time. And for me, knowing that God is mindful of that and has the best interest of our marriage in His hands is incredibly comforting to Big S and I. It gives us something to stand for together and gives us reassurance that no matter the circumstances, we have God protecting our marriage.
I do adore being a parent with you. We had 4 months of marriage without any children. Parenting and marriage go hand and hand for us. We associate our marriage and our family pretty much as one. Of course we spend time together just the two of us, we go on date nights and take time to spend time alone. But for us, our marriage is not built on those special date nights. It’s built on laundry basket races with Little S up and down our shoebox apartment hallway. It’s built on making train tracks and racing cars and goldfish crumbs constantly ground into our carpet. It’s built on all the small things with Little S (and soon Raelyn) that make us look at each other and say “Thank you for giving me one of the absolute best things in my life.”.
I do consider Big S my best friend. There are times when I look back and think how incredibly lucky I am. At 20 years old we decided to take on a marriage and a family. 20 isn’t crazy young, but it’s young. And marriage takes work and dedication. Most 20 year old guys are more focused on sports, partying, and newly found freedom. Yet, I found one of the only guys willing to give all that up for the commitment some people even at 30/40 are terrified of. And I thank God so much for putting us together for this amazing journey together. I’ve been so blessed to watch you turn into the man of my dreams that I never knew I wanted and needed. And your commitment to me and our marriage has never failed me and has always given me so much excitement for the years we will have together.
I love you, Spencer. Happy Anniversary.