So, we went to Disney World.
Even after last year.
What happened last year, you ask? Well let me just say, driving all the way to Orlando with 2 small children (6 and 7 months old) is not exactly a trip to Disney World (I mean, technically it is, but metaphorically, it’s horrendous.) It takes about 13+ hours to get there, and then, when you do get there, it’s filled with screaming babies, sleep deprived parents, and poop explosions. And then the drive back is literally filled with the same thing, but in adult proportions. It’s where your husband who passes out from getting sick in the bathroom, only to text your brother-in-law “help me” after not telling anyone he felt sick. And your is sister cursing Florida and swearing she’ll never return and claiming that everyone hates her and put the wrath of the stomach flu on her. It’s a drive that should have taken 12 hours, but instead lasted about 18 hours due to pulling off every 10 minutes so someone could barf on the side of the highway.
Yet, here we are, literally a year later, we went back to Disney World.
But this time we flew. And there was much less barfing. I actually don’t think anyone barfed. Which would make the trip a success in my book.
If you’ve ever been to Disney World, you know it’s a magical place. So magical, that you have to pay thousands of dollars to do everything. ORRRRRRRR you could have a sister who works there to get you in for free.
That’s right, suckas.
This is Auntie Bubba,
She loves her niece and nephew.
And showing off her boobies.
So day one, we went to Animal Kingdom. We went on a safari ride and Little S fell asleep during the musical Nemo show. Then we went to see Minnie, and Little S promptly smacked her in the nose. Probably because he had just seen Amelie meet her and cry. Pay back.
Then we went to EPCOT. Which if you’ve never been, this text conversation would make zero sense to you.
And our last day we spent in Magic Kingdom.
I got a pineapple float. Which was delicious.
And Little S got a haircut at the Barber Shop on Main Street. Which almost didn’t happen. When I asked a cast member what time they closed, they told me the shop closed at 4 PM. When it was 5. And I totally cried. Because I had been planning Little S’s first haircut for MONTHS. Yes, he’s had a haircut before, but not a REAL non-family member haircut. So when I heard it was closed I got super pregnancy hormones upset and practically sobbed tears of crushed Disney hopes and dreams. But, since this is Disney World, something magical happened. Big S went to check if they were actually closed, and they were not. They were open until 6. I think they really did close at 4, but they reopened it because of my pixie dust tears.
So I cried, and Little S didn’t. In fact, he did AWESOME during his first cut.
Step 1: Distraction stickers.
Step 2: Distraction light-up toy.
Step 3: Be the most handsome toddler to ever live.
Step 5: Free Mickey Ears with “My First Haircut” embroidered on it.
Step 5: Make unimpressed faces at dad.
Overall it was a successful trip. I mean, I managed not to have Baby B on the plane. Which I was actually pretty concerned about. I mean, my labor with Little S was 5 hours. Typically the second labor is faster than the first, so I was thinking I could go into labor and literally have Big S have to deliver her in the plane. And I would completely traumatize everyone on the plane.
But I mean, if you’re going to have a baby on a plane, I would highly recommend JetBlue. They have some pretty awesome snacks and quite room-y seats (I should get paid for that plug…)