Dear Little S…

I’ve been thinking a lot about our future.  I know the time is near that little s won’t be my only baby.  And I know he can’t read.  He is a genius, but he’s not quite that advanced.  But I wanted to write little s a letter to let him know what he means to big s and I.  It’s now printed out and will be framed on his wall soon.  So everyday he has a reminder of how much we love him.

Dear little s,

Yes, mommy is having another baby.  But I promise everyday I will make time for just you and me.  Daddy will take Baby b so we can have time just the two of us.  I promise to still let you splash in bath time.  And I promise to still pay attention and laugh at you when you fake fall down for the 15th time.  And I promise that once there isn’t a baby in my belly anymore, that you can use my stomach as a trampoline again.

I promise I’ll always try to put off laundry and the dishes to make extra playtime with you.  I promise I’ll be the bad guy when we play superheros.  I’ll read “On the Night You Were Born” 6 times in a row at bedtime, because I know it’s your favorite.  I promise to dance with you to the Hot Dog song until you beg me to stop or fall over from exhaustion.  And I promise to push you on the swings for as long as you want, because no matter how tired my arms get, your smile is worth it.

I promise to make a fool of myself to make you laugh.  Sure, I get strange looks in the grocery store when I’m faking a sneeze and saying “AHCOO!” far too loud.  But it’s worth it to get a laugh from you.  I’ll always do my silly run towards you, no matter who else is around.  I know how it makes you smile.

I promise to let you get messy.  And get messy with you too.  Because honestly, I want to jump in the mud just as badly as you do.  I promise to take in every moment and pretend to like all the little things you do.  Because even though I secretly hate 90% of the shows on Disney, you’ll grow out of it far too soon.

I promise to let you say “Mahm” far too many times.  Even though it annoys me after about 15 times, I know it’s just your way of saying I love you.  And once you learn to say “I love you” I promise it’s okay if you wake me up at 3 AM and crawl into our bed to tell me that.  I also promise to always let you give me one more hug before I have to leave.  An extra long hug makes my day anyway.

I promise to always show you through my actions and words that I love daddy.  Because this is really important for you and daddy both.  I promise to always respect daddy and make sure you know how incredibly hard daddy works to make sure that we’re okay and have everything we need.

I promise to let you grow up.  Just not too fast.  I promise I’ll let you have friends over.  Stay up far too late playing videos games with daddy and watching hockey.  I promise to let you go off to kindergarten one day.  Most likely when you’re 14.

Most importantly, I promise to first and foremost always love you and let you know.  Even when you throw milk at the cat.  And rub bananas in my hair.  I promise I’ll love you when you inevitably break a window with a hockey puck or eat all the food in our fridge.  I promise I’ll love you even if you decide to move out one day, but I’ll also be okay if you decide to stay (forever, preferably.).

Love,
Mahm.

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