Baby Names? Can’t I Just Name Our Baby Dishwasher Without Being Reported to CPS?

We’re nearing the point of picking a name for baby B.  With little s, it was kind of easy.  We had actually already picked our baby names before we were even pregnant.  Like, since the day we started dating we knew what we wanted to name our kids.  We liked Aiden for a boy and Lorelai for a girl.  Done.
Then I got pregnant.  And started looking at top baby names:

2011:
 2010:
2009:
Seriously?  Aiden was in the top 6 baby names for 3 years straight.
And don’t even get me started on Lorelai.  Apparently it means “temptress”.  
Great, so now an unplanned pregnant woman is going to name her baby something that will probably predisposition her to do exactly the same thing?  SIGH.
So we threw out our names and started over.
And decided on Samson for a boy.  Which got many, many negative reviews from family.  
“You do realize that Samson wasn’t a GOOD GUY in the Bible, right?”
Seriously?  He was chosen by God and given an incredible amount of strength.  Isn’t that exactly what I want for my son?  Absolutely.
When Big S was 18 months old he had open heart surgery to fix a hole in his heart.  He has had junior rheumatoid arthritis since he was 5.  And he’s had hypothyroidism (basically, his body doesn’t produce enough thyroid hormone) for as long as he can remember.
So we wanted a strong name to represent how strong he will be physically, emotionally and spiritually. Just like his dad.
Plus, I love this song.
But with Baby B, it’s been seriously hard to pick any names.  We loved Axel for a boy.  Then people would say Axel?  Like a car axle?
Or like Axel Rose?
No.
It’s just Axel.  
Like Axel Becker.  
Not being named after anyone.  I just like the name.  Why can’t I just like the name without it being compared to something or someone?!
So that one was thrown out.  Then we liked Troy.  But I was (Let’s be honest here. Not was, AM.) a big High School Musical fan.  And all I can think of when I hear Troy is:

If you don’t want to watch the whole video, just do me a favor and watch from 1:35-2:10.  Pure GOLD.  I love the passion when Gabriella sings TROYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!  Just beautiful.

So maybe I don’t want our son’s destiny to be horrible acting in Disney movies.  We haven’t decided yet.  Maybe.  Disney is pretty awesome.

Then we talk about girls names.  And that’s even harder.  Because OBVIOUSLY Lorelai is out.  So we’ve also talked about Ivy for a girl.  Then I told my mom we liked Ivy.
“I-V?  Like an I-V you get at the hospital?  IV? Ivy Becker?  I-V.  Ivy Becker.  I-V?”
No mom.  Ivy like the potential name of our child.  Thanks for ruining it for me though.

Then we also discussed Harper for a girl.  But Harper rhymes with Becker.  So that doesn’t work either.

At this point I’m afraid we’ll just Baby B in the hospital by looking around the room and picking some random item in the room.  Toilet.  Yes, this is our beautiful baby Toilet.  His name matches his personality because he’s already pooped 3 times in an hour.  Sigh.

Baby names are hard.

M

14,386 Responses to “Baby Names? Can’t I Just Name Our Baby Dishwasher Without Being Reported to CPS?”

  1. O | September 29, 2012 at 11:12 pm #

    I really like Harper! I don’t think it rhymes with Becker… I can hear some alliteration but not enough to be annoying. I agree with the decision to ditch Ivy, though, they tend to be evil antagonists.

  2. Melissa | September 29, 2012 at 11:58 pm #

    HA! I still love Ivy. Who knows. It may still be used as a middle name and potentially a nickname if we use it as a middle name. we’ll see. we love Harper, too. But it’s like #18 on the girls list which makes me sad because I don’t want a name in the top 20.

  3. O | September 30, 2012 at 12:43 am #

    It’s because Harper was a character on Wizards of Waverly Place, and Ivy was the backstabbing promiscuous Broadway wannabe chorus girl on Smash. Oh television…